Just a Visitor

We returned home last Sunday from our trip to the states. We were glad to get here. Our little cement bunker never looked so good as it did after a 19 hour trip. The flights were fine but they just reinforced the fact that we live far far away from "home".

It was good to be with family and to reconnect with friends. As much as I needed to be home I found that I wasn't really needed there. I was certainly welcome and had a good time, but I realized that I was just a visitor. Every one's lives had gone on without us. They had play dates to attend, sports to play, babies to tend to, work to do, etc. It's hard to fit into other people's schedules for 5 weeks. Of course I expect them to go on without us, but it was just hard to finally see and realize that we don't live there anymore. I know you're thinking "you never did live there", but for the past 7 months I was holding to the hope that going home would be way better than being here in Okinawa. It wasn't. Don't get me wrong, I love being home, but it was obvious that God doesn't want us there now. As much as I long to watch my kids grow up with their Grandparents and cousins close by that just isn't what God has for us now. We don't fit there because we're supposed to be here. That was hard for me to accept. I couldn't believe that my family would be ok without me, but they are. And why wouldn't they be. God is caring for them just as he is caring for us. He is providing for us here and for them there. He is filling in the gaps and teaching and growing us all. He is sovereign and moving me around the world from my family wasn't a mistake. He has shown me that in many ways. Now it is my job to accept it and to make the most of my time here. To trust and believe that God has everything under control. One day maybe He will have us closer to home but for now we are right where He wants us and I'm finally ok with that.