Monday, June 1, 2009

The Big D

I've been avoiding this post. I'm not sure if it is because writing it down makes it more real or if it reminds me of all that I have to get done in 12 days. About 2 weeks ago we got the news that Jeff is Deploying for 9 months in July. I'd be lying if I said there weren't signs along the way that God was preparing me for this. Many things that have occurred in the last several months I now understand. Things I have read recently that have struck a chord in me, I now know why grabbed my attention. I'm not sure I'm ready for this. It's been 5 years. I'm rusty. But my adrenaline is kicking in and there is no time for tears. Not yet anyway. We need to get things in order. Cars need maintenance. Bills need paid. Passwords exchanged. Packing, oh lots of packing. Every family outing feels pressured to make an incredible memory.  Time together seems much more precious and somehow much shorter. Everyday I am aware that "the day" is coming. Every day we are one step closer to that goodbye. To tackling every chore, tantrum, meal, tub, birthday party, holiday, homework assignment, and milestone by ourselves as a family of 3. And everyday while all that is in my head I am attempting to pretend it is not there. Attempting to focus on now. Attempting to be positive and strong for the kids, for Jeff. Attempting to remember where my strength comes from. Attempting to enjoy what we have. Because really deployment or no deployment we are never guaranteed another day. I should live each day fully. So I write this to ask for your prayers. Both for Jeff and for me and the kids. We absolutely believe that this is God's will for our family. Nothing happens to us that hasn't gone through Him first. We can trust Him with this. He has blessed us with an incredible church family and friends here in Okinawa. Owen's school is also a tremendous blessing. I was so touched that my sweet boy's first thought was to ask his teachers and class to pray for his dad. I can only imagine how sweet and sad it sounded as he told his class "my dad is going away for 277 days". I think he told me his friend Jack said "oh man, that is a lot of days". You gotta love 6 year olds. So, it is a lot of days. But we will take them one at a time. Some will be hard. Some will be fun. But we'll make it with the prayers and support of friends and family like you. Thank you for loving us! 

P.S. we are VERY excited to see many of you in 2 weeks!

6 comments:

Heather Hansen said...

Are you going back to the states?

Kristen said...

Heather, We're going back for vacation but we'll be back here July 25.

Unknown said...

Wow, reading this made me cry. I promise I will do my best to be a great help while Jeff is gone. God will get you thru and when you need a break I will watch the kids.

Aarin Stephens said...

Sweet friend, I am so sorry to hear that Jeff is being deployed. I can only imagine how you must feel. I am so thankful that God has put you in a place and among people who will support and care for you and the kids through this time. I will pray for joy over the next few days, and for peace and comfort over the following months. I miss you! Aarin

Anonymous said...

Though the topic is tough, I really appreciate hearing your heart and knowing how to pray!!! Hang in there, enjoy the states and know that you have many people to support you through the "lots of days" ahead!!! God bless!!

Unknown said...

JEFF! Come back to Lester!!! We need you!!! Kristen, when you do come back to Okinawa...we will be waiting for you....please let us know if you need a pick up from the airport!